Phrases and Script

·  I’m madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory

o   Holiday baking championship TV show – contestant talking about how she is disappointed with how her dessert turned out

·  Why are you afraid of it if it’s never bit you?

o   Volunteer at Wildlife in Need asking visitors if they are afraid of snakes and why.

·  White people are so weird!!

o   Betty to me when I tell her about my allergies and medical issues

·  Momma said if you get lost always look for the police

o   DJ after play Sending out an S.O.S. by The Police

·  God damnit what was I freaking saying?

o   Katie every time we talk about anything

Ext. Early morning in a chilly barn-type building. The guests in the audience can faintly hear lion cubs roaring and some other animal noises.

Jane: Welcome to Wildlife in Need! We are all glad you could join us here today! Who’s ready to cuddle some tigers?

Audience: *still tired with glazed over eyes* Murmurs are heard in the building over the faint animal sounds.

(Jane is seen grabbing a cloth bag and holding it at the top as to not let anything out)

Jane: Who here is afraid of snakes? *raises hand in a way to invite people to answer by raising their hands*

(A few people in the audience raise their hand and there is some laughter heard in the room)

Jane (cont’d): *points to a guest in the audience* Have you ever been bitten by one?

Guest 1: No….

Jane: Why are you afraid of it if it’s never bit you?

Jane (cont’d): Who here is willing to get over their fear today right now?

Guest 2: (raises her hand)

Jane: Come on up here and sit on this chair.

(Guest 2 follows and sits on chair)

Jane (cont’d): I’m going to put this around your neck so you can get over your fear easier.

Guest 2: No! No! Please don’t! Please don’t!

Jane: I have to in order for you to get over your fear. *puts strap over her neck* Open it up and look inside.

Guest 2: *opens it up* Awwwww!!!! (As a joey pops it’s head out of the sack)

Jane: See if you guys would’ve said you’re willing to get over your fear of snakes, you could’ve been up here getting the chance to see the joey before anyone else and get the chance to pet it.

END SCENE